Your whole perspective changes...

...when you have angel babies. Tomorrow is the due date of our second angel baby, the second baby we lost to miscarriage last year. It's hard not to think we should be a family of six this year, lol, after all that's been said and done. Kyle often asks us what his sister's name will be, thinking there is more than one baby in mommy's tummy, lol. Being pregnant is the hardest 9-10 months of my life; I don't know how to explain it, but it's this combination of physical, emotional, and psychological drain that just does me in. I never feel worse, than when I'm pregnant.

We thought we'd be fostering right now, on the community adoption list. We weren't planning on being pregnant this spring. After the two miscarriages last year, I didn't even want to risk getting pregnant again because I knew I couldn't take the physical and emotional turmoil of losing another baby. In October I was anxious to sign up for a bike race and a 5K I wanted to compete in later this year. Kevin told me to wait, just in case, we might be pregnant. I don't know if my personality changes or he just knows me that well now, but I was sure we weren't pregnant. I waited to register anyways. The whole 4th week of my cycle I did pregnancy test strips. I thought I saw a faint line on the first couple, but no one else could see it, lol. Then, on day 28, it was there, we were pregnant for sure, again. It was a Friday and I immediately called the birth center for blood work. On Monday, when I called back for the results, all were normal...but the progesterone was in the "low" normal. I insisted they prescribe me progesterone. I was going to do all I knew to do to keep this baby through the first trimester. And then we prayed a lot, I puked a lot, and flipped out a little around the time we had lost the other babies (at 40 days pregnant).

But WE ARE STILL PREGNANT! And I wouldn't have it any other way right now, not with all the nastiest that is pregnancy for me, all the meds, the hospital visit, and the potential c-section this breech baby might be. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Did you notice we have less than 100 days to Micah's due date? I can't believe it, that we are so far along...just a few more days and it will be "Hello third trimester!". I have an appointment on Monday.