It's already come and gone...

And I forgot...didn't even notice it because I was at Micah's 4 month appt., gleefully taking his photo as he safely rolled around the exam table, nursing him while they gave him his first shots, then I was out faint on the floor with my head in his pediatrician's lap (I fainted when Kyle received his shots at his 2 week appt.). And I didn't once think about the two babies we lost between Kyle and Micah. Yesterday was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I always remember around the time I lost them and on their birthdays. It still makes me cry on a good day. So to all of you who have lost your little ones, my heart goes out to you.

Kevin commented that Micah seemed to be growing up faster than Kyle did, after I told him I'd scheduled Micah's 4 month appointment. It's true. I didn't think we would survive Kyle's first year (you were one tough infant buddy)! Micah's first year seems like it is slipping away. I really wanted to savor his infancy and I have as much as possible, but I've really been in survival mode since before he was born and it's frustrating.

Thankfully, it looks like some stability may be coming our way, as we get to move in to our new house on Monday! We won't close until later in the week, but our lease is up on Tuesday and our storage bill comes due on Monday, so the owners graciously are allowing us to take occupancy on Monday. Can I tell you what a relief that is? There is no way to describe how hard these past 3 months have been. Kevin will sometimes comment that it seems to have gotten easier, but for me it's just that it feels normal now. It's still one of the hardest experiences I've ever gone through and I am still treading water.

Micah is 4 months old, 16 lbs, and 27 inches long. He is happy, still so happy! This week he started rolling and now he rolls all over the house; it's crazy that one day all he can do is lay on his back and the next he can move! Our pediatrician said he can start solids whenever we want, but I think I'll hold off till he's 6 months. However, with the new development of rolling has come a regression in sleeping. Ugh. Kevin has been so faithful to help me with the nights. Micah is up a lot and it's been a really tough almost 2 weeks now of sleeplessness. Thankfully, he is once again napping during the day (yes, he wasn't napping and we were both miserable for a couple days there). So, my assumption is that night time sleep should be coming around again soon. He loves to grab at things and is continually enamored with Kyle.

Kyle is doing better and better. We've been working on listening with him for the past several weeks and both of us have noticed a real change in him this week with listening and responding to us the first time we ask/inform him of something. It's wonderful! Also, it seems Kyle has been making friends at preschool, despite our initial misgivings (Taryn is my friend, I tell other kids I don't want to be their friends. What he forgets is that Taryn is moving back to Texas in May, lol.). Kyle has started sounding out words, like overnight. On our trip to AZ, we were in the Nashville airport and he looks up as we walk through security and says "Mom, why does that say "Exit"?". Instead of answering him, I ask "How do you know it says "Exit"?" and he sounds out the word to me Ehhh-x-ihhh-tt. I'll hear him in his car seat in the back saying and sounding out letters on signs as we are stopped at traffic lights. IT's fantastic; I remember doing those things as a kid when I was learning how to read! Lately, he'll hear Kevin and me talking about something "adult" and ask us what we're talking about. Then we'll explain it to him and he is truly interested about what's going on outside of him and his world. This is a totally new development for Kyle!

Our trip to AZ was fantastic. AZ still feels like home to me, but as we were getting ready to leave, I realized that wherever Kevin and the boys are, that is home for me right now in my life. It was so good to get back to Kevin; I still have my "I hate Nashville" days, but they aren't everyday, as they were in the beginning. I know we didn't get to see everyone we wanted to while we were in AZ, but we are coming back at Christmas for a longer period of time, and Kevin will be with us! We will be spending a couple days in Tucson, hopefully over a weekend so we can see some of you at church.

Lastly, we have found a church. It's a non denominational church, about the size of our church in Tucson. I don't know that we LOVE it the way we love Vineyard, but it's good. I think it's good for all of us to have a place we are going consistently and to be building community there. It is right down the street from our new place! And, I love Wed. night church service; it's like a breather during the week to reconnect and get some prayer and encouragement. Also, no dinner duty, yea!

As October winds down, Kyle will be finishing up his soccer season, we have a few Fall festivals to attend where the boys will be dressing up and collecting candy (Kyle is going as a soccer player, and Micah is going as a horse. If I had been really on top of things, I would have convinced Kyle to be a cowboy this year, that would have been cute!), and we are looking forward to a visit from Grammy!

If you don't have plans for Thanksgiving, won't you join us here in Nashville? Our house is open and we would love to see you :o)! That's all the news I have for tonight.

About once a week,

both boys end up in bed early and about the same time! Kevin and I break out the ice cream and a netflix movie to watch on his laptop. Tonight is that night, although, Kevin is still laying down with Kyle. We actually had both boys in bed and started the movie when Kyle peeked his head around the wall and said: "What's that chocolate?!?" in reference to Kevin's ice cream, lol! We gave him a few bites and shuffled him off to bed, which is where Kev is right now.

The boys are doing well. Micah is always happy unless he is hungry or tired. I went to Bible study on Tuesday morning and Micah slept in the nursery the whole time! I couldn't believe it. It was wonderful! I had him all swaddled and laying in the crib with his binky when I left him. The baby sitter said all she did was rock him for a minute and he was out. Oh the joys of being a parent the second time around and having an easy baby!

Kyle started drawing today! He was tracing his name with a crayon, I had drawn it out for him in pen and he started coloring the page. I asked him to draw our family and he up and started drawing stick figures with faces! It was awesome, so cute. I still have no idea what handed he is. He was using his right hand earlier today with me, but was drawing with his left hand this evening after dinner when we showed Kevin what he had been doing. Kyle has never ever been interested in writing, coloring, etc... I've never pushed it, so that is why this was so cool to see!

We had our home inspection today! There are a few issues that we'll address with the owners, but no deal breakers it seems. We'll have the full report tomorrow.

Micah is:
Doing better in the car; he doesn't scream every time!
Sucking his thumb when he isn't swaddled.
Going for nightly walks with me in the stroller around our apt. complex.
ticklish! His giggles and laughs are like music to my ears!
Always happy, he wakes up happy and smiles at anyone who will talk with him/give him attention

Kyle is:
Getting smarter everyday as he tinkers with/takes apart various things around the house (like our digital camera)
A rhyming machine (I love you pove you, Micah picah, mommy pommy, daddy paddy, etc...)
Sleeping in his own room again, in the new twin bunkable beds we found for him (and eventually Micah) on craigslist
More imaginative than ever before, playing pretend not only with his cars, but with his stuffed animals and his hands (his fingers are a make believe spider that crawls around our house)
More loving and protective of Micah than I ever imagined he would be, in fact, he asked for us to have "lots more kids in our family"

That's all I have time for tonight! Movie is over and I'm off to bed.

Celebrate with me!

God has provided at the last minute and we are buying a house! I say last minute, because our lease is up here at the apt. on October 20th. It seems you need a good 30-45 days to close on a house, so this was going to be our last weekend looking and then we were going to "break up" with our agent (poor guy has shown us upwards of 50 houses, with two small children in tow) and start looking at rentals.

We couldn't be more thrilled with the location and neighborhood. It's a listing I found, because our agent was only showing us 3 bed/2 bath homes, but these were not in desirable neighborhoods for our price range. I started looking at 2 bed/2 bath homes and asked him to show us this listing last week! We saw the house on Thursday, put in an offer on Friday, they counter offered this evening, and we accepted.

It's a 2 bed/2 1/2 bath townhome on a cul de sac. We can walk everywhere: groceries, mcdonalds, library, park, even the boys' pediatrician that I picked out not knowing where we would be living! The only two places I have to drive are preschool and gymnastics, which are both closer than where we live now. Poor Kev does get a longer commute though, at 11 miles away from work.

So where is this perfect place? Here.

And a bonus! I saw two little boys bikes outside the front door of the house next to us; the one we will share a wall with!

That's my good news tonight!

Birthday boy

Birthday cookie cake in Nashville!

Kyle starts preschool tomorrow! He is so excited.

Kyle had his fourth birthday last week. We had a party in Tucson with his friends before we left and a small family party here on his actual birthday. We went to the ice cream plant that morning, McDonalds for lunch, and then he chose to watch movies all afternoon, lol! We had pizza for dinner and a cookie cake with candles for dessert. He has continued to receive little packages in the mail from family and friends back home and loves it! He wants to know what is in the mail for him everyday when we go check the box.

Now that he is four years old, he has started doing things that he told his he couldn't do when he was three because he wasn't a "big boy"! He started standing up to pee on his birthday eve, gets dressed and eats by himself, clicks himself in to his own car seat, and is "brave" when faced with potentially scary experiences.

I feel like I missed out on his whole 3 year old year with us moving right before his 3rd birthday, the adoption classes, and then Micah's pregnancy. Kyle was required to grow up more this year than any 3 year old should have to! Despite all that Kevin and I have been dealing with the past 12 months, poor Kyle has been stressed out too. The other day he asked me when we were going back to AZ and I told him sometime in October, and he goes "To stay?!?" and I had to tell him no, that we would come back to Nashville. Then he has days when he tells me he loves it here and doesn't want to live anywhere else, lol!

We are starting to have a couple of good days every week, but the bad days are still really, really bad. I continue to feel defeated in our housing search and if something doesn't work out this weekend, we will start looking for a rental.

The boys continue to grow grow grow! We met our new pediatrician and she's wonderful, although the office isn't great, so I'm not sure we'll stick with her. Kyle is hovering around the 50-75th percentile for height and weight while Micah is up in the 90-95th percentile for height and weight. We kept thinking he was quite a big boy! I'm excited Kyle's growth spurts have slowed down, as this means we can keep using his 5 pt harness in his car seat for a little longer. Kevin has graciously allowed me to purchase some new baby carriers, as Micah can get very heavy, very fast, and of course, he loves to be carried as opposed to sitting in the car seat or stroller!

Nashville, TN

Well, I think I can finally update, but I need to apologize that it will probably be a little here and there. The last couple weeks have been rough, to say the least. I get lost daily, with the boys in the car. We have a large apartment, but just a couple air mattresses, lamps, and bed/bath linens in it. It has stairs, which is a big deal when you are lugging the infant car set, diaper bag, and groceries up from the parking lot. Today I locked the boys in the apartment, telling Kyle not to answer the door for anyone, while I unloaded our Costco run. I tested him by knocking on the door two separate times, and he didn't answer! I did open the door and tell him it had been mommy knocking to see if he would answer, then we did high fives that he was such a good listener. I figure if emergency personnel need to get in and he doesn't answer the door, they can break it down. Additionally, we only had washer/dryer hook ups, thinking we would use the laundromats here at the complex...well, that was a mistake. We are now renting a washer/dryer and that has been a huge blessing.

The highlights of my week are going out to eat because we get to sit in chairs and eat at a table and going to church because I get to nurse in a rocking chair (as opposed to the floor).

Kyle misses his friends and his toys/books/furniture. I broke down and enrolled him in preschool this week at a Baptist Church about 20 minutes away. All the church preschools near us have hefty price tags and meet every day of the week. The preschool where Kyle will be attending meets twice a week from 9-2 and is reasonably priced. I'm excited and sad about this. I know he'll enjoy it and I'll enjoy some one on one time with Micah. I'm so amazed he's old enough to go to preschool. Our big back to school purchase will be a lunchbox; hopefully something eco friendly/sustainable.

We have our first playdate tomorrow morning and I am so excited, lol. The mom we are meeting has two kids also, an almost 4 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. We met her and her husband at the church we visited this past weekend. They just moved here from Texas 7 weeks ago for her husband to start a job in radiology at Vanderbilt. It was nice to meet someone else going through some of the same things as us recently!

We found a fantastic storytime at the main library, but Kyle is nervous about the puppets they use, so we go to our little library storytime that's around the corner. It's not up to par with our Tucson storytimes, but the children's librarian is very friendly, helpful, and knows us by name when we visit.

The zoo here is wonderful and I immediately purchased a membership...it's also only 2 miles down the road from us. I'm excited to try out the science center next week!

We live in a very diverse area. This evening I met three women from Jordan and their kids at the playground in our complex. They have lived in nashville for almost 10 years! One of them was pregnant with baby #4 and very interested in the ringsling I was wearing Micah in. We live right on the fringe of Nashville's Hispanic area, which is funny to me to see all these businesses with billboards in Spanish as we drive here and there.

We overflowed our dishwasher, which had something to do with going to the laundromat. We own two cars now. We are trying to buy a house, which is tricky with two kids in tow. We were unable to access our money because the credit union we belong to is the only one in Arizona not in the nationwide credit union co op.

I really appreciate all the prayers, calls, texts, and emails. I'm sorry I haven't replied. It's been so overwhelming that I cry just thinking about connecting with all the people we love and miss. This week I have started to return phone calls, so don't give up on me yet! If you want little daily updates here and there, add me as a friend on Facebook. I try to upload at least one picture a day of the boys.

Time for bed. I forgot how noisy young babies are when they sleep. Micah sleeps quite well, but is incredibly noisy trying to burp and toot all night long, lol. I'm a light sleeper, so I often lay awake and watch him. He is getting big and I'm excited for the boys to both have checkups at the end of August.

Babywearing

Well, Micah tried out all three of our baby slings/wraps today and fell asleep just moments after being placed in them! This morning I took him out to the park with Kyle in a front cross carry in our homemade wrap; he slept the whole time. This afternoon we stopped by our neighbors house with Micah in our well loved ring sling and he was out as soon as I sat down on the couch. And tonight, I popped him in the pouch sling to head outside with Kevin and Kyle for a few minutes as the sun went down; once again, he fell right to sleep!

In baby poop news (you wouldn't believe how much you talk about what's in your child's diaper when you have a little one), we are still struggling with a diaper rash. Last night, Kevin went out again to get Desitin (we've tried all the good for you, organic creams with no success), some baby washcloths to use as cloth wipes (which I love using so far), and a pack of newborn soothies (pacifiers). Micah did allow Kevin to give him a pacifier for a little comfort, but let it be known that he will not be falling asleep with a paci in his mouth. I don't know how much we'll actually end up using them.

Also, I got a gDiaper starter kit today, after reading lots of great things about the pants which seem to be more breathable and help with diaper rash. We have tried all sorts of cloth and disposable diaper combinations since Micah was born to get rid of this rash. I don't know if it's sensitive skin, the major humidity we've been having with the monsoons starting, or what. I'll keep you posted.

Lastly, our crib was recalled two days ago; the crib we used with Kyle, lol, and were now using with Micah. So, today we dismantled the crib and returned it to Target, where they gave us a gift card for the full purchase price plus tax. Micah will be sleeping in his play pen for now. I don't know if we'll get him a new crib when we move to Nashville or not. We put Kyle on a mattress on the floor a little after he turned 1 year old, so it seems silly to invest in a crib that will be used for such a short time. I'm guessing we could probably pick up a used crib pretty cheap, although all the experts advise against that. Ah well.

We are headed out for fireworks shortly! Happy 4th of July!

Kyle on walkie talkies

"He takes his talkie talkie with him just like you take your phone with you so he can call people" in regards to the Lego fireman set he received this morning from a good friend. He also insists that the fireman's hat "looks funny" when it is on correctly and insists he saw a fireman with his hat on backwards "on the big screen".

We are all doing well, hanging in there. The boys and I leave the house about once a day, which means less is getting done that needs to. I should still hit the bank and grocery store today, but who knows if that will happen. Kyle is playing fireman and Micah is sleeping out here in the front room in his playpen.

Early on, Micah could care less whether or not he was swaddled, but Monday night he just couldn't settle himself, so we broke out the miracle blanket again and he slept! I've been using it for naps and most nighttime sleep, although sometimes he still sleeps w/o being swaddled at the beginning of the night. It makes nighttime feedings easier to keep him swaddled, but isn't so much fun for diaper changes. This little guy was dirtying every diaper we put on him at first! Thankfully, this week, he is no longer dirtying every diaper, more like every other diaper. I've been using cloth at home, disposables while we are out. One of Kevin's colleagues sent over their newborn cloth diaper stash for us to borrow until we leave, and it has been great using fitteds and AIOs. Kyle used to wait a week to dirty a diaper, but then it would be a poop explosion. Kevin and I marvel at the completely different bodily processes our two boys have. I'm curious to see how different they are in other ways!

At his two week appointment, Micah was 8lbs 11oz and 22 inches long. Tall and skinny, just like brother: top of the percentile for height, bottom of the percentile for weight. I think Kyle just hit 50th percentile for weight this past year, at his 3 year old check up, lol. Micah has been more awake this week, or had more wakeful periods I guess you could say, and is focusing a lot more. He's also startling more, hence, the swaddling. He still does pretty well in the car, usually only crying if he needs to burp, eat, or is sweaty. I am off dairy, because it seemed to be causing him intestinal issues. This has greatly decreased what I can eat, and I'm still trying to remember what I ate when I had to do this with Kyle. Everything seems to have dairy in it! Lastly, he is enjoying time in his slings/wraps more and even slept our entire trip to the library today in Kyle's old ring sling. It was great!

Lofty had been abandoned briefly upon Micah's arrival, but is once again an integral part of our daily routine. He basically does everything that Micah does: nurse, burp, ride in the sling, get diaper and clothing changes, nap, etc...Although, Lofty has yet to leave the house w/us to go anywhere.

Speaking of going places, can I tell you that the pricey stroller we bought is worth every penny! It is so nice to have the ability to push both boys wherever we are at, and often, people don't even realize there is an infant in the lay flat seat. I can steer it with one hand and it has no problems going over "terrain" (read park grass, gravel, dirt). So, where have we been since Micah's arrival? Well, a few parks and rec classes, Costco, grocery store, hardware store, bank, playdates, library, gas station, restaurants, and the park. Occasionally, I'll only have one child with me when I go out and that is like a piece of cake now!

Well, Micah is stirring, so off I go!

Blessed w/boys

Well, he's here, but I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write about the journey, as I expect him to want to nurse anytime now. The camera isn't close, so you'll have to wait for pictures (unless you are Kevin's or my mom's friend on Facebook)!

Micah Alexander Harkins joined us at 7:04 a.m. on Sunday June 14, 2009. He was 8lbs 10oz and 20 1/4 inches long. He reminds us a lot of Kyle as a newborn in looks, except that he has darker coloring, from his hair to his eyes to his olive skin.

After my Friday appointment, I started evening primrose oil three times a day. Saturday June 13th I lost my mucous plug over the course of the day and had random contractions similar to those I'd been experiencing for the last two weeks. Kevin ended up going in to work that evening to finish up his dissertation. I had my mom time my contractions from 10 - 11 p.m. that night, prior to going to bed, but there was nothing consistent about them. I took my unisom plus B6 and went to bed with no real expectation of having a baby in the next 24 hours.

At 12:30 a.m. on Sunday June 14th, I was woken up by a contraction. I got up and started timing. Kevin still wasn't home from school at this time (he had been working late for the past two weeks to get his paper finished up before Micah arrived). At 1:00 a.m., I called Kevin and told him I was having consistent contractions, about 5-7 minutes apart; that he should finish up what he was doing and come home. He told me he was just printing out a last draft to give to his boss and would be home soon. I asked him to stop by CircleK and get a soda, so I could eat the ice after he finished drinking the soda. After we hung up, I had the horrible thought that he would get car jacked or something stopping at the CircleK near campus and I prayed hard until he came walking through the door, lol.

I had been laboring in our bedroom this whole time. After Kevin got home, I asked him for the exercise ball, and we timed contractions until 1:30 a.m.. At this time, Kevin called the birth center because my contractions had been about 5 minutes apart for an hour and lasting about a minute each. The midwife on call, Nichole, told us to go ahead and come on in. Kevin packed up the car and we drove over. I remember having one contraction in the car. This was similar to Kyle's labor, where my contractions seemed to stall on the car ride over to the birth center. We arrived at the same time as the midwife.

Nichole opened up the center and we were set up in the same room that we had Kyle in! She checked me and I was 5 cm, 90% effaced, -1 station. She assured me that with second babies, they often didn't drop until late in labor and joked we might have this baby by 7 a.m.! She knew I wanted to have a water birth and asked if I'd like her to get the tub ready; I declined and said I wanted to be 7 centimeters before I got in the tub. I started laboring on the birthing ball (similar to my exercise ball at home), but things seemed to be kind of stalled (to me) and contractions erratic, as opposed to consistent. We decided to go walk around the birth center, but I didn't have more than a couple contractions while we did that either. After returning to the room, I layed down and had a very painful contraction. This was similar to when I was in labor with Kyle: laying down was the most painful position ever. I decided to get in the shower and labor in there for a bit. I wasn't in there long and had a good three contractions that I can remember. After getting out, I wanted to be checked again and was close to 7 cm, but not quite there, so I labored on the ball again.

After a few contractions on the ball, I asked Nichole to fill the tub. Kevin fell asleep as I was getting in the tub; poor guy had been up forever. Nichole, and our nurse Beth, kept me company and rotated cold washcloths on my forehead and chest to keep me comfortable. I think it was about 4 a.m. when I got in to the tub. I told the midwife and nurse that I would need to wake Kevin around 7 a.m. to wake my mom up because my morning alarm wouldn't be on to let Kyle know it was time to wake up. Around 6 a.m. the contractions became more intense and I could actually feel Micah descending, which I don't remember experiencing with Kyle's birth. We woke Kevin up and Nichole asked the nurse to get the birth kit ready. I remember asking her if she thought I'd be having my baby soon, but don't remember her reply. She did ask me if I was pushing after the next contraction. I told her I didn't know, that I didn't remember what pushing felt like because I'd had to push Kyle out so fast. She never did check me again.

The contractions were coming faster and I was having a hard time getting comfortable in the tub. I remember holding on to Kevin's hand and pulling hard during these last contractions. All of a suddent I felt a pop! and knew my water had broke. This was such a relief not to have them artifically rupture my membranes like they did with Kyle. Regretfully, I had to get out of the tub because there was meconium in my water; this meant no tub birth for me. The midwife and nurse would need to suction Micah right away when he was born so he didn't aspirate meconium.

I was helped out of the tub and squatted down for a couple contractions, until my feet fell asleep, lol. The nurse brought over a birthing stool and that was a lot more comfortable. I remember gasping and Nichole telling me not to be afraid of the pain and pressure, that it was normal. The next couple contractions I tried to work with the pressure and was hugely relieved when I delivered his head, then had to wait for another contraction to deliver the rest of him! The morning alarm on my phone went off, it was now 7:05.

Micah was immediately placed in my lap; he was covered in meconium, which we all wiped off. He didn't cry right away, but eventually let out some good wails. The midwife waited for the cord to stop pulsing (one of my requests) before having Kevin cut it. I delivered the placenta and everything looked great! I was so relieved to be holding our baby boy in my arms and I couldn't believe it was only 7 a.m.!

I was in active labor from 12:30 a.m. to 7:04 a.m. on the morning of Sunday June 14th, 2009. I couldn't have asked for a better labor and delivery. I thought Kyle's birth had been ideal, and it was. However, Micah's birth healed any parts of my heart that felt like Kyle's birth could have been better. We are so blessed to be able to have uncomplicated births, even if the pregnancies throw us for a loop.

My mom arrived with Kyle a little after 8 a.m. and we had a sweet time introducing the boys and watching Kyle check out his little brother. Kyle is very affectionate with Micah, but has still struggled with all the changes a new sibling brings. It's been a different week, adjusting to being a family of four, but I wouldn't have it any other way!




Micah is one week old today. He is a completely different baby from our Kyle. We are blessed by his mellow personality, and he's quite the sleeper. We've had no problems with nursing. Here's to being on my own with the boys tomorrow!

Kyle has been really, really...

...into taking digital pictures lately. He can fill up our camera in a matter of minutes!

Micah, as taken by Kyle this afternoon. Let the baby weight guessing games begin!

Kyle, taken by me last week, with his short summer hair.

39 and almost 1/2 weeks

Well, had another appt. today. I am officially 39 wks 2 days. Micah is still head down and has a strong heartbeat. I was offered the option of an internal exam w/membrane sweeping, but declined. I was then told that I would be having an internal exam come next Friday if I was still pregnant, ugh.

Kevin has been way busy since finding out he will be defending on June 26th. He's shooting for around 10 a.m. in the morning for those of you who will be attending. The public portion lasts about an hour, then he will be in with his advisors for about 3 more hours, give or take an hour. After he's done, we'll either meet at the house or a restaurant to celebrate with him! This is the equivalent of his graduation and graduation party.

Now, for those of you who are planning on trekking down to Tucson after Micah is born, I have a request: Please stay home if you are sick, have been sick in the last week, have been exposed to sickness in the past week at work/school/etc..., or even feel a tickle in your throat. Please be symptom free for 24 hours before you come if you are getting over being sick. I will ask you to leave if you show up to see us sniffling and hacking.

I know this sounds crazy, and it's not actually Micah I'm worried about. We have so much going on in the next 30 days, that if any of the rest of us gets sick, it's going to make it that much more stressful and overwhelming. We are having a baby, flying Kevin to Nashville to find us a place to live, Kevin's defending, then we pack, and drive to Nashville to stay for good. So please, use your best judgement when coming to visit after Micah is born. He will still be very teeny tiny and newbornish for a good 10-14 days after he's born, so don't worry, you will not miss that itty bitty baby stage.

In other news, we will be in Phoenix very soon after Micah is born, so if you are unable to come see him here, it's possible you could meet him there. The boys and I will be staying with my mom while Kevin is in Nashville securing a place for us to live.

We will not in any way, shape, or form be offended if you decide not to immediately drive to Tucson the moment you find out Micah has arrived. In fact, you'll probably get to spend more time with the boys and us if the visits are spread out a bit. Which brings me to another point, please remember Kyle. I don't mean bring him a present, I mean, remember that he is here too and this is going to be a big deal for him. Expect to read books with him, play trucks, a board game, trains, pillow fight, etc...and generally spend some time giving him some extra attention also, in addition to meeting his new brother.

We will probably be updating twitter and/or facebook with "in labor" updates. I will advise you not to come shooting down to Tucson once you find out we are heading to the birth center. I was in labor for a total of 16 hours with Kyle, 7 of those were spent at the birth center. You may be sitting in the waiting room a really, really long time. Plus, I have to get cleaned up, nurse the little guy, and introduce him to Kyle before you'll be invited in.

Ok, I'm done now. Thank you for listening and respecting my boundaries with all of this.

38 weeks

Well, what can I say? Feeling very pregnant. I am so thankful my mom arrived today, as my daily patience in parenting is waning. Kyle's parks and rec classes started up this week, which has made us busier and boy do I feel it! Our next appointment is Friday morning. About the only comfortable seat in the house is on my exercise ball. Kyle likes to hop up on it while I'm sitting and bounce or jump off of it on to a nearby couch. This is not one of my current favorite activities. We haven't been to the pool in a week or so because by the time the pool opens for public swim, I am pretty much done for the day, lol. All of the free kid activities are a lot busier now that school is out, but traffic is much lighter now that the U of A students have vacated the city.

We have changed our move date to mid-July; probably around the 15th. Kevin is still working on getting all his advisor schedules to work for a June 26th or July 7th defense date. We've been talking to a buyer's agent in Nashville about possibly buying a house and scoping out rentals best we can online. It looks like Kevin will most likely take a short trip back to Nashville to confirm housing for us, after Micah arrives.

That's all the news I can remember with this hormone laden brain of mine. I'll keep you posted on any new developments!

Kyle sleeping with "Lofty"

Kyle is usually the one who tucks Lofty in next to him on the pillow and under the covers. Lofty usually has to get dressed for the day and dressed for bed every night, just like Kyle.

Ohhh the silence...

...of my blog this week. Well, Kevin took off to Nashville, TN last weekend to check everything out at Vanderbilt and officially accepted their post doc! We will be moving mid-August. Kyle and I were on our own for the most part, but survived. A full dose of Zofran every morning and a visit from Nana kept us afloat until Kevin returned late Tuesday night. I have yet to drop down to my half dose of Zofran again...I'm hoping I can keep taking the full dose until Micah arrives now. I am way more functional.

In baby news, we had an appointment on Friday and Micah was head down! He still goes diagonal on a daily basis, but also stays head down for hours at a time. The midwives seem to think that as soon as I go in to labor, he'll drop down in to my pelvis, so no talk of inversions or c-sections so far! I was completely relived. I've been craving junk food, which has done nothing for my weight gain. As of Wednesday, I will be 37 weeks and cleared to deliver at the birth center no matter when I go in to labor! It's hard to believe we are this close. I feel like there are still things to do: pack bags, pick up cloth diapers/wipes, CLEAN THE HOUSE, raise the crib mattress, set up bassinet, find swaddling blankets, install car seat, sew up a pouch sling. There's more and I often think about it while lying in bed. However, I think I am still sleeping better than most pregnant women approaching their 37th week, for which I am truly grateful. I know the sleep deprivation is coming and there is no way to describe what a zombie you are in the first several weeks.

I told Kevin that if we need to stay the night again, he is going home to sleep with Kyle and I will stay with Micah. When Kyle was born, Kevin passed out and I couldn't rouse him the whole first night to help me! Additionally, he took up the whole bed (they don't have king size at the birth center like we do at home). So I sat in a rocking chair all night long. I was so close to changing the spelling of Kyle's name on the paperwork out of spite the next morning, lol (I wanted to spell it Kile). Of course, we worked it out once we came home, but if you're nursing, those first several weeks of night wakings will inevitably fall to you (I dislike pumping).

Kevin graciously gave me the morning off today, waking up with Kyle, getting him ready for church, and leaving me to enjoy my solitude at home! I know this will not be happening for a long, long time after Micah arrives (at least one boy will probably be with each of us all the time, even weekends).

As much as I want to meet Micah, as excited as I am to not be pregnant anymore, I am so happy for every extra day he gets to grow inside of me. Don't get me wrong, I'm so done with pregnancy, but there's something about knowing how much good even one extra day in the womb can do for a new baby that helps you stick it out! Have I been having contractions? Yep, just last night in fact, (and I'm not talking braxton hicks), but a little rest and lots of water seems to continue to keep them at bay.

My next appointment is June 5th.

35 weeks

Well, we are both still here. My body decided I overdid it on Mother's Day and threw in a few short, intense contractions for good measure Sunday night and Monday morning. Micah continues to flip around and do somersaults to his heart's content, despite my weekly pregnancy email stating "...your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now...". If he really is 18 inches long and closing in on 6lbs, his close quarters are not fazing him at all. I've been feeling nauseous and lightheaded on a regular basis, in addition to puking this morning. I will be the most surprised of all if he decides to extend his stay to 41 or 42 weeks, with all the fun intensity of the last two weeks.

No appointments for us this week, but I do get to be a single parent again, for the third time since we found out we were pregnant last fall. Kevin is flying to Nashville, TN on Saturday afternoon to confirm that he really does want to accept a post doc position at Vanderbilt University. It has been our first choice for awhile and we were both thrilled when he received an official offer last Friday! We expect to move there sometime later this summer.

In other news, it looks like Kevin and his advisor want to schedule his defense for after Micah is born. So, keep your calendars open during the last week of June.

I'm more tired than I have been and my little Kyle is the one who suffers from my lethargy. I am anxious for his summer classes to start in two weeks, which will help give our days more of a routine and allow him some additional creative and energy outlets.

The last few days I've started feeling the urge to pack our "hospital" bags and start getting everything in order. I think the only thing I truly need to do is swing by our local cloth diaper service and pick up a dozen or two of their retired infant prefolds. We were given some covers that should get us through to six months old, but the funniest thing happened at our last appointment: I saw the mom who had given us the covers in the lobby of the birth center and she told us she was very surprisingly 8 weeks pregnant, lol! So, I'll be sending those covers back her way around Christmas.

That's about all I can think of...we told Kyle we were moving to TN and he had two requests: A house with a fireplace and stairs. Hrmmm...stairs definitely weren't on my housing requirement list!

I just want to cry

Micah is transverse...not true transverse, but like diagonal. His little tush is pointing towards my right shoulder and his sweet little head is pointing towards my left thigh. Although, this does change on a regular basis. The issue is his head has not engaged in any way, shape, or form in my pelvis. The midwife wanted me to start coming in every week...I begged off for two more weeks. She was already talking about interventions: physical inversions, etc...

I'm done, so done. Pregnancy just beats me down physically and psychologically. It's not that I don't have good days, but overall, the experience is just draining. All I want is to push my baby out; no c-section. The fact that this is even in question at 34 weeks makes me want to scream.

I was so excited to make it to 34 weeks. Now, I have to keep it together until we're 37 weeks and pray Micah engages. I'm doing all the "postures", swimming, and investing in a exercise ball to sit on and open my pelvis up.

That's it. That's all I know. Other than his positioning, everything looks stellar for him and me which is always good news! No matter what happens, I know it will be okay, even if it's not the way I want things, or expect things, but it still makes me emotional.

Summer is here

We're just going to celebrate a little early and say "Happy 34 weeks!", which we'll be in about 2 hours. That means, 3 more weeks until the birth center will let me deliver there if I go in to labor early and 6 more weeks to our due date! I'm getting anxious and excited that we are so close to meeting this little guy. Last night Kevin and I watched a movie together and Micah was really stretching out during the entire thing; it was amazing watching my stomach poke in and out as he moved around. I've been walking, or trying to walk, around the park every night, but now I start contracting after ONE loop. If you've seen our park, you know it's not that big. I'd love to have a little more endurance built up for labor, but it looks like that might not be an option. I've also started having the exact same kind of braxton hicks contractions that I remember from my pregnancy with Kyle. Looks like my body is starting to gear up for the big day!

Kyle is feeling better. He often sleeps with his Tonka Fire Rescue Hummer. I'm not sure how he does it, sleeping with a large truck, but it seems to work for him. Also, he often has his Bob the Builder tool belt on when he goes to bed too. Kevin took the belt off, put it and the truck on the floor the other night, and by morning both items were back in bed with Kyle! He has named one of my old Cabbage Patch preemie dolls "Lofty" and we are required to dress "Lofty" in a new outfit every morning and pajamas every night. So far, we've been using some of the preemie clothes that were given to us in bags of clothes for Micah. And lastly, the books on Kyle's shelf about a new baby joining the family, have been in heavy rotation this week (Kyle's choice, not ours). We have a neighbor named Micah, and the other night I said "There goes big Micah to worship practice". Kyle comes running from our back room "Baby Micah's here?!?!", LOL. Oh honey, if it only happened that quickly and easily!

It's hot and getting hotter. We've been using the cooler in the afternoon/evenings, but I have a feeling it will be on more and more now. I am truly blessed to have made it this far into our pregnancy with no triple digit temperatures yet. My swelling has been minimal this week and I'm still able to stay quite comfortable indoors. Kyle and I headed to the pool today and it felt great!

Kevin is looking at a June 6th date for defending his dissertation. I'll let you know once that's confirmed (He has like five advisors whose schedules he has to coordinate with to get this done). I love how they keep moving it closer and closer to my due date, haha. At least some family should be in town if something happens that week ;). We are slowly getting some news trickling in about potential post doc offers, but nothing official yet.

I have an appt. on Thursday and will update then if there is any new info!

Rants

You'll never guess what lovely symptom from my first and part of my second trimester has started up again? Anyone? I'm dry heaving every morning...or, if I've had a drink or something to eat, puking again. Can't a girl get a break? I've been pregnant for almost a year for gosh sakes!

I'm also really missing taking an entire Zofran pill every morning (which I did while Kevin was in Hawaii), as opposed to the half pill I'm taking now. The pills are really expensive, so I only take enough to function. On an entire pill, I could actually do things; like a load of laundry or dishes or play with Kyle the way he likes to play. Ah well. Just 7ish more weeks, right?

Kevin stayed in bed this morning. I can't figure out if he's still jet lagged, misses Hawaii, has senioritis, is sick, or has really bad allergies. Kyle seems to be starting to feel better, although still prefers to play here at home, as opposed to outside with his friends (not typical Kyle behavior).

It's going to be hot today; I may turn on the cooler...

A long week

Oh man, am I tired. We all are. I think we are all still recovering from last week, Kevin being in Hawaii and Kyle and I staying in Phoenix with my mom. Poor Kyle woke up with a runny nose this morning and isn't quite himself. I had a couple days of swelling in Phoenix and the day we arrived home. However, I am no longer swelling here in Tucson. I've been able to stay off my feet more, although have taken up short walks in the evening. It was really, really hot in Phoenix, but the weather is much more tolerable here in Tucson right now.

I'll be 33 weeks on Wednesday. Kevin or I get asked all the time "Are you due any day?". LOL...nope, I am actually going to get bigger, but thanks for asking. Micah is definitely getting bigger. My belly resembles more of a lopsided oval than a cute bump anymore. It's like he's always trying to get more comfortable. I've already decided we will bring two different sizes of outfits with us to the birth center: newborn and 0-3 months. Newborn is for 8lbs and less...0-3 months is rated to 12lbs. I'm not expecting a 12lb baby, but Kyle was 8 lb 2 oz, so I'm expecting something in the 8 - 9lb range.

I buzzed Kyle's hair last night, but didn't quite get it finished up before the hair got too itchy for him and he insisted on a shower. I'm hoping he'll let Kevin clean it up later this week. He wants Kevin to buzz his hair now too, lol.

A lot is going on, but not a lot is happening right now. Kevin has a good four weeks before he'll be defending his dissertation, so he's busy with that, in addition to communicating with potential post doc positions at various universities across the country. As soon as we know where we're moving, you'll know! In regards to his defense, this is the equivalent of his graduation and there is a public portion that family and friends may attend. As soon as I know the date/time, I'll share it with you in hopes that those of you nearby will come to see the culmination of Kevin's work over the past 5 years.

I'm off to bed.

Kyle's dream

After waking up, heading downstairs for his juice and milk, Kyle showed up at my bedside (unusual since he will wait for the alarm to go off until he comes in to wake us). My back was to him and he whispers in my ear "Are you sick? Are you still pregnant?". I answered "Yes baby, I am still sick and pregnant". At this point I've tried to roll over so I can see him and he sits on the side of the bed. He goes on, "I saw Micah, after he came out of your tummy. He was all grown up and we were playing at the park together.". Of course, my first question is "Did he look like you?". Kyle says "He was wearing a white shirt. It's okay if I share my clothes and shoes with Micah. I can share them with him.". Then he heads out of the room to wait for the alarm to go off. This must have been a pretty vivid dream for him to think I might not be pregnant anymore! I love it when he shares things like this with us. It's totally awesome to get a glimpse in to what he's thinking. I have no regrets about him knowing we've been pregnant the entire pregnancy. I know a lot of "experts" tell you to wait until you are closer to your due date, but it has been so much fun to hear Kyle's thoughts and see how he reacts to my growing belly and Micah's kicks.

This is what I just heard...

...coming from Kyle's room (note, his beds are no longer bunked, but side by side with space in between to play toys):

Crash as pieces of the marble tower fall to the ground
"Woah" from Kyle
Then silence

I go in to check on him and it seems that he has switched beds, is laying on top of the comforter in his other bed, without a pillow...in his sleep! I decide to talk to him anyway, even though he is asleep.

"Kyle, are you okay?"
"Yep."
"Did you want to sleep in your other bed?"
"I did want to."
"Okay, here's your pillow." I pull it off his other bed and lay it down and he scoots up and puts his head on it.

That's the end of our conversation. I pull the blanket off the bed he was sleeping in and put it over him, then move any additional obstacles out of the way that he might trip over if he switches beds again tonight, and call Kevin to tell him to lock the kitchen door so Kyle can't get out through our back room to the carport. I have visions of him sleepwalking out that way, as it's the only door in the house he knows how to lock/unlock.

Whew...glad I was still awake :).

Almost 31 weeks...

As exciting as it is for me to be in my third trimester, it can also be utterly depressing. I think there are things that happen to you in the third trimester for a reason, so by the time your due date week arrives, you are begging God to go in to labor...as opposed to being slightly nervous and apprehensive about it in your 1st and 2nd trimesters. It gets uncomfortable, you gain weight and feel like a whale, you get asked when you're due constantly, and if you're due in the summer, it's very possible you will retain large amounts of water and puff up like a balloon. I'm just not feeling the pregnancy love this week.

Kyle has been a little angel, and I am so thankful for that gift the past couple days. Easter was a major blessing, went so smoothly I think Kevin and I were equally surprised when we collapsed on our couches yesterday evening. An egg hunt in the park Sat. morning and Sun. dinner with a family from church, totally planned off the cuff, and all the kids played so well together. Kyle actually responded with the "Jesus" answer when we asked him why we celebrate Easter, lol. We totally didn't do the Easter bunny or baskets this year. Although, he still came in to lots of candy, nonetheless. I have pictures that are still sitting on the camera...

Micah continues to throw parties in my abdomen. I have this suspicion that he may be bigger than Kyle at birth; maybe it's just because he has yet to engage in my pelvis, but this kid has body parts that rumble all over, all the time. Perhaps I've just forgotten what it was like with Kyle's pregnancy. Kyle throws parties all over our house, all the time. He's an energy bomb and it has taken all his practice and patience to understand that mommy needs him to be gentle (although, he is still rough with Micah, giving my belly numerous "squeeze" hugs and kisses..."Don't forget about Micah!" he says). He puts his ear to my belly and says "Micah's awake!"...and I tell him I think he's sleeping and he says, "I just heard him!". I think he's hearing mommy's rumbly tummy. I have been so hungry the past couple days, it's insane. I remember this happening with Kyle too. You feel like a bottomless pit.

Good night, it's late, and my husband is finally home, so I can sleep!

A few pictures...

Did I tell you...I bought my first two pairs of XL capris for this pregnancy. They are still a little big, but oh so comfy! I know they will fit perfect in the coming weeks. I felt Micah's hiccups for the first time this weekend. Aunt Kristi was sitting next to me and pointed out that his little bottom was popping out at the top of my stomach every time he hiccuped! It was awesome, and happened again this afternoon; I just love feeling his little movements more and more as the weeks pass. It's like you get to know your baby a little bit before they arrive. Micah has active and quiet times that are pretty standard throughout the day, in addition to responding to voices he recognizes.

Good news and mediocre news and vacation

Finally connected with the midwives and "hooray!" no gestational diabetes for me...however, I am borderline anemic, which has yet to happen during this pregnancy. I now have to pick up a little sheet about getting more iron in my diet, yippee.

California was fantastic, just wonderful, beautiful, made me feel better. I never want to leave when we are there and Kevin graciously let us hang around until dinnertime and then drove us home, so we arrived back around midnight last night. Kyle had an amazing time. He enjoyed the beaches and the Birch Aquarium. I'll get the pictures up later this week. I already want to plan next year's trip!

Happy 29 weeks :o)

Well, I survived my glucose test and can get the results tomorrow. Micah is still head down, although not engaged in my pelvis yet. My belly sticks out a lot more with this pregnancy and the midwife was able to feel all sorts of body parts yesterday, lol! We asked if there was any problem with us traveling to CA this weekend and she said "Well, I'd prefer you didn't!", and then she briefly thought I was participating in the 5K we are going to watch, but Kevin let her know I was just going as support, lol. She made me take a copy of my file, just in case something happens.

I am ecstatic to be just two short months away from full term (37 weeks). Even though I've been doing pretty well since our hospital visit, I still get the "and you know the pre term labor symptoms" talk every visit to the birth center. Additionally, I still take it easy, a lot easier than I thought I would have to. I don't know if I read this somewhere or was told by someone that typically you can continue doing what you've been doing once you're pregnant. Not the case around here!

I let Kyle play in our back yard for the first time ever on Monday night, and he's had a cough ever since. It's not a back yard that is really groomed or kid friendly and I'm wondering if he has some allergies from raking/playing with all the weeds back there. We won't be doing that again anytime soon!

Kevin is super busy this month with a mini conference on Monday here in Tucson, and his big yearly conference in Hawaii around the week of the 19th I think it is. April is going to fly by for us, I just know it.

Well, I'm off to run errands as we pack up for our weekend away in CA. I will update when we return!

As promised...

...there are "all three of us" as Kyle would correct me if I mistakenly referred to "just the two of us in that picture". Today we went to the safety fair on the campus of one of the local hospitals here in Tucson and it was great! We had the car seats checked to make sure we've been installing them correctly (Kevin got 5 stars for his "welded to the seat" installs from the car seat techs). Kyle is on the verge of reaching the weight limit for using the 5 pt. harness in his current car seat, which makes me sad. I want him in the 5 pt. harness longer, but I don't see any new car seat purchases in our future. They were also doing bike helmet fittings that included a free helmet, and passing out booster seats! Kyle was afraid of all the mascots wandering around, from the Chick fil a cow to the hospitals trademark turtle. He claims he wants to go to Disneyland, but I have a feeling it would be a little traumatic at this point still!

We had a lovely dinner out with some neighbors who have a little girl the same age as Kyle; it was so much fun and the kids did great! Kevin continues to be busy, which probably won't change for awhile and I'm feeling about the same as always. Micah continues to remind me he is still alive and kicking (yea!).

28 weeks

Well, it's official: we are in the third trimester. I feel more and more like a house everyday, which, I guess in some ways I am a living house for this little guy. I had Kevin take the first belly shot of this pregnancy yesterday, because I knew I would never wear that shirt again, until after Micah arrived, lol. I was hoping to post it for you, but alas, it has yet to make it off the camera, so you will have to wait. Sleeping is becoming more of a chore, even with my nightly unisom and b6, but naps seem to come easier, so who knows. I feel like there is more and more I want to get done, but I need to take it slower and slower now, lol. There is something about the impending birth of your child that makes you want everything just right.

We did make our one and only big ticket purchase for Micah's arrival: that fancy stroller I've been alluding to! I found one on craigslist in Phoenix and just happened to be the first person to take a look at it. Of course, it is now sitting in our TV room. It is only 7 months old, but man, that mom must have let her kids live in it! I vacuumed, scrubbed, and polished for over an hour to get it to my level of acceptance, but it was all so worth it. We have made a big deal about referring to it as Kyle and Micah's stroller and Kyle now tells everyone who asks about his new stroller that it is his and Micah's new stroller. Kyle often feels an intense possessiveness of his strollers, which makes it hard to sell them when we move new ones in, and he was not about to let Micah touch his Maclaren Triumph, which we've been using for the past year. I'm still trying to figure out how to sell the Triumph and our Burley bike trailer from under his nose without it traumatizing him. Our new stroller is the Phil & Ted Sport Buggy V2 with doubles kit in blue camo, if you are curious.

Kyle has been increasingly interactive with Micah the last week or so. Micah always gets a kiss and hug good morning and good night, in addition to songs, and, on occasion, prayers. This morning he was hugging my belly and said "Micah's such a good brother", lol! Easy to say when he's still inside mommy! He had his ear up to my belly and said Micah was crying, so I asked if he wanted to sing him a song and he said yes. I started with the good morning song, then Kyle said he was still crying and we needed to sing rock a bye baby. It's totally cute and wonderful and eye opening to see this pregnancy through Kyle's eyes.

It's late and I'm exhausted...here's praying that sleep will come!

Happy Birthday Kevin

Can you guess where we celebrated Kevin's birthday? It's the only place in Casa Grande where you can watch a game without sitting at the bar...The grandkids/cousins did not mind at all!

Kevin turned 27 yesterday. My birthdays don't jolt me as much as Kev's remind me how the years have passed; he was 21 when we got married: TWENTY-ONE. Maybe it's because I've already been the ages he's beginning. I'm just excited to have Micah shy of my 30th birthday, lol! I think we all had a really good day yesterday, seeing family, enjoying each others company, watching the Wildcats win! I'm really excited for Kevin this year, for all the things he's finishing up and starting new, for all the open doors he'll be walking through. He continues to excel above and beyond my expectations as a husband, father, and friend.

Happy Birthday honey, and may you continue to be blessed in all that you do!

Appointment update

Guess who's head down?!?! Yep, I was told this morning that Micah is now head down and that is a huge relief. Heartbeat sounded strong and my last medical test of the pregnancy will happen in 2 weeks: the glucose test. We are just shy of our third trimester, which means appointments every 3 weeks and some paperwork to fill out (birth plan, hospital registration just in case we get transferred, birth certificate stuff, etc...). I'm allowed to ease back in to working out, but have to stop again if I start contracting. I think that's about it! Have a great week...I know I will with all this good news!

Friends

Kyle has a lot of great friends here in Tucson and this will be one of our truly great losses when we move, so I've been snapping up pictures of him w/his friends when I remember:

His friend H is the perpetual princess...almost always in a Disney princess costume when we see her!

Of course, Rose and Kyle have practically grown up together these past couple years.

Kyle's friend G is always up for some rough and tumble play!

Your whole perspective changes...

...when you have angel babies. Tomorrow is the due date of our second angel baby, the second baby we lost to miscarriage last year. It's hard not to think we should be a family of six this year, lol, after all that's been said and done. Kyle often asks us what his sister's name will be, thinking there is more than one baby in mommy's tummy, lol. Being pregnant is the hardest 9-10 months of my life; I don't know how to explain it, but it's this combination of physical, emotional, and psychological drain that just does me in. I never feel worse, than when I'm pregnant.

We thought we'd be fostering right now, on the community adoption list. We weren't planning on being pregnant this spring. After the two miscarriages last year, I didn't even want to risk getting pregnant again because I knew I couldn't take the physical and emotional turmoil of losing another baby. In October I was anxious to sign up for a bike race and a 5K I wanted to compete in later this year. Kevin told me to wait, just in case, we might be pregnant. I don't know if my personality changes or he just knows me that well now, but I was sure we weren't pregnant. I waited to register anyways. The whole 4th week of my cycle I did pregnancy test strips. I thought I saw a faint line on the first couple, but no one else could see it, lol. Then, on day 28, it was there, we were pregnant for sure, again. It was a Friday and I immediately called the birth center for blood work. On Monday, when I called back for the results, all were normal...but the progesterone was in the "low" normal. I insisted they prescribe me progesterone. I was going to do all I knew to do to keep this baby through the first trimester. And then we prayed a lot, I puked a lot, and flipped out a little around the time we had lost the other babies (at 40 days pregnant).

But WE ARE STILL PREGNANT! And I wouldn't have it any other way right now, not with all the nastiest that is pregnancy for me, all the meds, the hospital visit, and the potential c-section this breech baby might be. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Did you notice we have less than 100 days to Micah's due date? I can't believe it, that we are so far along...just a few more days and it will be "Hello third trimester!". I have an appointment on Monday.

Doctor's visit

I know, I know...my appt. was yesterday and I failed to update! Well, the midwife said I could come off of complete bedrest, but to take it easy, "easier than you probably think you need to". If I have contractions again, then they will start me on medication and weekly visits to monitor everything.

In other news, Kyle has been kinda flipped out from his usual self since I was in the hospital. He's been very emotional. This morning I started doing preschool with him again and he loved it. We are going to have to keep that up and it's nice that I can do it from my bed. We went to a baby store here in Tucson today to check out a stroller and some car seats I've been desiring. Kyle cried when I took him out of the stroller; he wanted it sooo badly. It was even on clearance, with the doubles kit. Regretfully, last years doubles kit only holds kids to 32 lbs, this years doubles kit holds kids up to 40 lbs, I think. We have had a double side by side stroller before and I'm just not a fan. Especially since Kyle most likely won't be strolling very much now that he's almost 4. I just want the option for those really long outings of having both kids in the stroller.

That's all the typing I'm up for right now.

Welcome to the antepartum unit...

So, this morning I was admitted to Tucson Medical Center with contractions coming every two minutes, although I only felt 4-5 of those contractions in an hour (probably about a 2 on a 1-10 pain scale). Anyways, I had to face all my fears about anything medical related (had my first IV, first internal exam for this pregnancy, shots, etc..). All of my tests, cultures, images came back negative for anything at all. Micah looks perfect, amniotic fluid is great, and despite the contractions, I am not dilating and my cervix looks great. I received 3 shots of turbuteline over the course of the day and my uterus finally stopped actively contracting, although they seemed to think it was still "irritated". I am home now, on bed rest, and will see the midwives on Monday. Thank you for all the prayers, phone calls, texts, and visits! I will continue to update as I'm able.

Ups and downs

Kyle felt Micah kick this weekend! It was so cool. His eyes and mouth would get wide open and he'd gasp and say "There he is!". If I tell him Micah's sleeping when he tries to feel my belly now, he shakes my belly and says "Micah, wake up!".

As of Saturday afternoon, up through Sunday night, I was feeling a little apprehensive. Micah didn't seem to be moving as much as he did earlier in the week. Actually, he moves a lot less than Kyle ever did in the womb, but Micah is also in a different position (head up, last appointment). I also might be more wary this time around because of the miscarriages; I just don't know.

Anyways, last night I was ready for bed and Kevin came to tuck me in. I laid on my side and we felt Micah moving, until I was satisfied that he was okay. Not long after the lights went out, I was having some really intense pain in my back and lower abdomen (it totally flashed me back to being in labor with Kyle). I was able to deal with it, but it lasted several minutes, until I was about to tell Kevin to call the birth center and immediately had to puke. Thankfully, that was the only time I puked all night, and after, I felt better, Micah was a little more active and I was able to sleep. Totally strange and nothing like I ever experienced with Kyle's pregnancy. Micah has felt more like himself today and I've been fine too.

We continue to be blessed with clothes, baby gear, and cloth diapering items! I am completely overwhelmed by the generosity of our family and friends.

It's my bedtime! Here's to a night free from sickness :).

Growing up

My Kyle,

You do the funniest things lately! You prefer to sleep in your IKEA tent, on our hard concrete floor, in your sleeping bag, every night. In the morning, you ask daddy "Why did you move me to my bunk bed?". Daddy and I have both caught you with your head in the toilet singing goodbye to your pee pee's as they flush down the drain (although, you no longer do this in front of me because I explained to you that the toilet throws up pee pee splash when you flush and it's yucky to have on your face). Some mornings, you walk in to our bedroom, while I'm still in bed taking my meds and eating, and you say "Good morning baby", just like your daddy says to me. I reply with "Good morning Kyle" and you say "Good morning mommy". We have conversations that sound almost grown up, "How are you this morning?" "Did you have any dreams last night?" "Where am I going today?"

The other day in the car you thought you had it all figured out: "Oh I get it! So you get our baby from the doctor!". We were talking about well check ups because your friend Gabriel went to get his 3 year old check up and I told you how we would go to a lot of appts. like that after Micah was born. But we talked more and I think you know now that Micah is going to be a part of our family forever (whatever forever is for a 3 year old) and hopefully born in the room where we had you, at the birth center. You kiss and hug my growing belly everyday. Now that you know Micah can hear you, you talk to him too.

We sometimes look for clothes for your brother when we are out and about during the week. You pull every outfit off the racks and tell me what you think of it! It's adorable. You also want to know if we can buy you a shirt too, if Micah gets something, lol. I can see the effects of having a sibling already subtly effecting you!

Daddy felt Micah move for the first time last night and I think you'll be able to feel/see him move soon too. I'm interested to hear what you say or see what you do the first time it happens! It's so much fun being pregnant with you around, understanding so much, and wanting to know about your baby brother. You like to go in "Micah's closet", the extra closet in your bedroom where we've been storing his clothes and gear. You enjoy pulling everything out and asking if you used this or that when you were a baby.

I love you so much Kyle and treasure everyday I have with you, just us, before Micah arrives. I know things have been different since we found out Micah was coming, and you've had to make a lot of changes, but I'm so proud of the little boy you are becoming and am confident you will be an amazing big brother.

With love,
Mommy

Everything that's on my mind

So, I felt pretty good for a week and then on Sunday I realized I was starting to feel the way you are only supposed to feel during your third trimester (status check, I am just shy of 22 weeks); no where near third trimester, thank you very much. I will spare you the details, but today I insisted on Finding Nemo as our afternoon movie, as opposed to 101 Dalmations...because Mommy was feeling yucky today! I was rewarded however, when Kyle joined me for a nap after the movie; he curled up at my back, played with my shirt a little bit and I heard his breathing even out before I fell asleep! I love it when he chooses to take a nap, as opposed to playing during quiet time. It happens about once every 2 weeks on average.

The reason we've been watching a lot of movies is Kyle was amazingly sick since Wed. afternoon. I'm talking a running fever through yesterday, cough, runny nose, his eyes even looked sick, poor little guy. He would sit on the couch, bundled in blankets and drink homemade smoothies all day. I never did take his temperture (digital thermometer needs a new battery) or take him to the doctor. A hot bath, some vicks, ibuprofen, and intense nose blowing seemed to get him through the nights. However, he has been tucking in to bed with us by morning. Amazingly, I haven't minded and have been able to sleep. I think he usually cuddles up to Kevin because I have my fortress of pillows surrounding me to help stay comfortable through the night.

My mom arrived and helped give us a break from sick duty this weekend! We even went out on a date; thankfully, I'm still able to sit through an entire movie without having to pee...but very soon, this will no longer be the case. I am starting to remember the joy of the last 10 weeks or so of pregnancy, ugh. There is something about how uncomfortable you get that makes you beg your body to go in to labor. Have you read about some of the things women do to induce labor?

Stop me if I've shared this before but, the night I went in to labor with Kyle followed a huge emotional, crying/journaling session along the lines of begging God to let me give birth in the next 24 hours. After that release, I started having contractions about 30 minutes later. Praise God. I remember I kept asking my doula if she thought we were really having the baby today and she assured me, that yes, I was having a baby today. I knew that if I arrived at the birth center and they sent me home, I would be a mess.

Anyways, Micah will now be clothed for at least the first couple days of life (until one of us does laundry). My mom bought a 5 pack of onesies for the little guy and Kevin commented that he really didn't need much else in June, in Tucson, because we'd have him swaddled up in blankets anyways. So true, but I'm still on the hunt for a take home oufit. Kyle has been quite the helper as we look through the baby clothes; he likes everything he takes off the rack for Micah and wants to buy it "Mom, don't you think this is cute?" "I think Micah would like wearing this". The funny thing is, that baby boy clothes always look the same. I get to tell Kyle that he wore something very similar as a child and then go find the picture of it. Which reminds me of a comment a mom of six friend of mine made at church the other week while I was snapping pictures of Kyle "You better stop taking pictures because Micah will never have as many as Kyle"! I'm sure it's true. I think we took pictures of Kyle almost everyday at first.

This evening Kyle helped with the dishes and went on a run with Kevin, lol. He came home and showed me the stretches they did before and after. It was awesomely cute. I can't believe how grown up he is. It makes having Micah now even sweeter!

Well, it's time for sleep. As a P.S.-If you have any baby boy clothes you'd like to pass on, Micah is in need. It's the one thing we don't have for this little guy.

Recent pictures

Kyle enjoying a rainy day

Kyle playing at church

Micah 20 weeks

It's a boy!

After some slight maneuvering, including laying me on my left side, we finally got confirmation that we are, indeed, expecting another son! Additionally, everything looks perfect, and I can't tell you what wonderful news that is; after the miscarriages and being on medication this entire pregnancy, to see the heart, brain, and perfectly formed little facial features, was an absolute answer to prayer. We are so blessed!

Baby Names

Well, I just discovered the middle name we've been looking for if we have a boy and I'm so excited. I was having trouble really getting behind this boy's name the way I did with "Kyle", but now I love it. So what will our future child be called? Well, if it's a boy, it will be Micah Alexander and if it's a girl it will be Marin Ann. Either way, this child gets my initials (MAH), just as Kyle has Kevin's initials (KDH). Whew, now I can sleep tonight (and I'm not kidding)!

20 weeks...plus a few days

Well, good grief, we hit 20 weeks on Wed. and I was totally excited, but neglected to post. Once again, this pregnancy is going really, really fast. I tried to get off my anti nausea meds over the weekend and early in to this week, only to find myself puking Tuesday morning...at the tour of a preschool where we would love to have Kyle go if we end up in Tucson next year for some reason. It was lovely. I called the midwives and wow!, heard back from them in less than two hours! They immediately called in a refill and I am almost feeling normal again.

The pregnancy dreams have been coming for awhile, but just last night did I have a dream like the kind I had with Kyle. I dreamed that I gave birth to a little boy with brown hair and blue eyes, and I was only in labor for 4 HOURS (crossing my fingers for that to come true)! Kyle could make this baby laugh like no other person in my dream; it was wonderful. Do we know what we're having yet? Nope. Our ultrasound is Monday afternoon and I am excited to find out!

Of course, I've already been wanting to buy things for this baby, even though we don't really and truly need anything. There is so much cool, new baby gear out since Kyle was born. Truly, I need to start sewing up diapers from one of our king size flannel sheets and (as soon as we know if it's a boy or a girl), looking for the "take home outfit". I look back at the onesie we put Kyle in to come home and think "That was a first time parent thing to do". We were hot, as it was August, but he was cold a good part of his early life I'm sorry to say. Kevin figured this out one night when Kyle would stop crying if he took him on our front porch. So, we finally started dressing Kyle a little warmer, even if it was 100 degrees out. Even now, Kyle will cry out in his sleep if he gets cold. One thing we have nothing of (I got rid of Kyle's stuff a long time ago), is clothes.

Also, I am so sad that our Fisher Price Safe Embrace Convertible Car Seat expires on March 9th of this year. Kyle still fits in it and likes riding in it, but I was so hoping to use it for our new little one. I think it has been my favorite car seat of the three we own for install and comfort of the child. Kyle never did well in the infant bucket car seat (screamed every car ride, probably due to reflux) and I'm loathe to try it again with this baby, but the bucket seat is in good condition and has not expired, so that's where we'll start with car seats for now.

Ah well, it always works out! I'll post again Monday with the big news! Have a great weekend and GO CARDINALS!

19 weeks

Kyle taking a picture of me while I take pictures of him:


So, the last two nights I've definitely been feeling this little one kick and it's awesome! Not enough to keep me awake, just enough to let me know "Hey, I'm here!". I have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting to feel this baby on a regular basis. It makes me look forward to going to bed, lol. On the down side, my uterus has been so sore today, you could swear I must be doing some kind of internal aerobics the last couple days. It's not cramping, or sharp, shooting pains, just like if you had a good workout and you were sore. It's uncomfortable, but I'm assuming this just means our baby is getting bigger!

I finally broke down and registered us for WIC again today. After I started teaching, I didn't see any need for us to continue with WIC, but now that I'm pregnant again and Kyle and I drink a gallon of milk every 2 days, it will be so amazingly helpful. I almost fainted when they checked my iron and poor Kyle had no interest in getting his iron checked after that! It was fun to find out that I've gained 10 lbs and Kyle's height and weight is right on track. My goal has been to gain about 30 lbs w/this baby (as opposed to the 50 I gained with Kyle) and I seem to be on track with gaining about 1 lb a week. These are all silly things you think about when you are pregnant.

I have yet to start walking or doing water aerobics like I did with Kyle, however I'd like to do both soon on a regular basis. The water aerobics will be the toughest to work out because I will need someone to watch Kyle during that time. Kyle and I have been spending a couple hours outside every day because the weather here has been in the 70s and 80s; just beautiful for this time of year!

Well, despite the fact that the medication I'm on allows me to eat, I feel awful if I eat anything except for bland, bland, bland protein (think grilled chicken everyday) and drink milk. I tried branching out to a few foods I've missed: pizza, chili, root beer, chocolate...and well, I feel awful all evening after eating my usual non pregnant "comfort" foods. Ah well, just about 20 more weeks, right? I'm already looking for take out menus for places near the birth center! After Kyle was born, Kevin got me a BLT and I remember it was so delicious because I didn't feel sick at all...it's like magic after the baby is born, lol.

Well, it's almost 9 o'clock and I am exhausted. I think, at least for me, pregnancy forces me to take better care of myself (early bedtime, watch what you eat/drink, take it easy on your body), so that is a good thing. Good night!

We are still here...

Oh dear, it's been way too long since I blogged and I apologize. At 12 weeks I was allowed to go off the progesterone (YEA!) and immediately started puking up everything (BOO). So, I tried unisom plus B6, just like with Kyle; and it didn't work! Boy, was I surprised. So, after two different anti nausea medications (the first one didn't work), I'm now happily eating, although still nauseous some of the time. Just a little update: At our 13 week appointment, I was measuring 3 weeks larger than usual so they scheduled an ultrasound to check for twins. Well, I am having twins, but not twin babies, just twin fibroids that are growing as the baby grows due to the pregnancy hormones. It sure was fun to get pictures of the little squirt, although this child is already suffering from second child syndrome since we have yet to scan and share those with all of you, ahem. However, looking at those pictures has sure helped me make it through some very sick nights and mornings, ugh. At our most recent appointment, I was measuring 4 weeks larger than how pregnant I actually am. There are two frustrating things about this: one, I'm huge already and two, the midwives are worried about preterm labor.

This pregnancy is going really, really fast. With Kevin finishing up his Ph.D. this semester and chasing Kyle around everyday, I'm not thinking about being pregnant every second of the day. Also, with those fibroids I have yet to feel the baby move on a regular basis; just a couple times a week, so I don't have a constant, moving reminder that there is something growing in there.

Kyle likes to give my stomach squeeze hugs and kisses. We just passed the due date for our first miscarriage (Jan 12th) and that was tough. Kyle and I spend Sunday mornings together and he crawled up in to my lap the weekend before the due date, puts his hands on my stomach and says "I don't want the baby to go to heaven". Of course, I believe he means he doesn't want me to miscarry, not that he doesn't truly want this child to go to heaven, haha. I teared up and it totally amazes me that he remembers.

I have to go now, quiet time is almost over and I've yet to rest! Enjoy the pictures, sorry I can't put captions up right now. Something seems to be wrong with the blogger picture post function. Ah well, that is everything Kyle has been up to this past Fall, and the hair cut he got today...he's been asking for short hair all week long, lol.